To Whom It May Concern:
Hello, I am a 19 year-old student attending Eckerd College in St. Petersburg Florida. I have been researching the issue of torture and America for a project that I am doing. I came across your website and it really helped open my eyes to the matter at hand.
With America using torture on detainees, it has placed at hard damper on America’s human rights voice. I like that your organizations network gives biased information on America’s and other countries use of torture. Being American it is hard to see when you country is at fault for something that it does not promote. With the information given on your website I have now a better understanding of the issue.
With the help of your organization I would like to promote more information about torture and human rights. I feel that most people don’t understand what is going on around them. If you have anymore information to give me on how to promote the issue that would be great.
Thank you for your time,
Sincerely
MW
To Whom It May Concern:
Hello, I am a 19 year-old student attending Eckerd College in St. Petersburg Florida. I have been researching the issue of torture and America for a project that I am doing. I came across your website and it really helped open my eyes to the matter at hand.
America’s use of torture and the affects it has made on our voice on human rights is a major concern today. Your organization gives great insight on the problem at hand. I like the biased information, and the ways to help. As a fellow supporter on anti-torture I like how your website also has updated news on human rights issues around the world. More people need to understand how people are being treated in the world.
With the help of your organization I would like to promote more information about torture and human rights. I feel that most people don’t understand what is going on around them. If you have anymore information to give me on how to promote the issue that would be great.
Thank you for your time,
Sincerely
MW
To Whom It May Concern:
Hello, I am a 19 year-old student attending Eckerd College in St. Petersburg Florida. I have been researching the issue of torture and America for a project that I am doing. I came across your website and it really helped open my eyes to the matter at hand.
America has been the leading voice on human rights since the beginning of the 20th century. After reading your book I never really thought how torture is not only inhumane but destroying the very foundation that America has made on human rights. I feel that the American government must stop these diabolical treatments if it wants to get back to where it was a couple of years ago. Your book gives important information in a nonbiased way. It really helped open my eyes, and I hope that your organization can help in stopping this issue.
With the help of your organization I would like to promote more information about torture and human rights. I feel that most people don’t understand what is going on around them. If you have anymore information to give me on how to promote the issue that would be great.
Thank you for your time,
Sincerely
MW
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2 comments:
I think the first paragraph is good the only thing I would take a look at is the sentenve about "being an american.." To me I think it is a little confusioning.
Your paragraphs are good. I think you should take a look at the second paragraph because your thoughts are there but the flow is a little off.
Your paragraphs are very well thought out. nice work
Peer Review-First Letter
I read over the first letter, and thought it was pretty good. Just some grammatical clean-up. "...it has placed at hard damper on America’s human rights voice." You can probably get rid of hard, and replace at with "a". And, "Being American it is hard to see when you country is at fault for something that it does not promote"...you needs to be changed with "your".
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